Hello peeps and peepettes,
I've been speaking in rhyme today after an hour of speaking poetry this morning. I forgot how much I loved poetry and poems, especially spoken word. I used to always read poetry books, especially about love. I use to looovvveee listening to Reyna Biddy's spoken poems. Take a listen to these two below. I love them so much.
Today I was like "UGHHHHH YESSSSSS" after speaking to my Life Coach, Shyla Cash.
She sparked something in me that I felt I needed. In the most non-sexual way, her lesson to me today hit me right in my spot. It was almost like an orgasmic feeling when it clicked in my head. It was like an explosion of love, trust, confidence and purpose again. It was like a recharge of energy. It's what I needed.
She said these simple words that ignited a fire in me: "the truth is activating."
We worked on SHAME today. We got down to the root of my emotional scars.
Shyla reminded me that NO ONE can take the truth away from me. That my truth is MY TRUTH. It's in my DNA. It's my experience it's what I went through. That I have a BIRTH RIGHT to speak and live in my truth. To own it. To survive, to overcome, to heal. She reminded me that what I went through was REAL, both the good and the painful.
She reminded me that the problem here is how I feel about myself. She reminded me that past conditioning and hurtful/abusive relationships/childhood can condition us to feel shame. It can get us out of our body. It can make us unknowingly bow our heads down and collapse our being. She pointed out what my body language was reflecting today. She said my head naturally bowed and my shoulders caved in. My body contracted in the way a little kid's would when they're being disciplined or yelled at. I hadn't realized this. We did a practice of embodiment. To touch my arms and remember I am HERE now. I'm no longer in the past. I'm here and I'm safe. She also made me bow my head down and contract in and then slowly lift my head up and open up my shoulders and sit with a proud chest. She had me notice what I felt when I lifted up my chest and sat there.
At first, my body felt uncomfortable. I felt silly sitting there with my head held high and my chest out. I felt like my gut screamed "Yes! This is what I've been waiting for! This is you." Then there was that little pesky voice going "this is so dumb, you look so dumb, you look so silly, blah blah blah." She also had me notice what it felt like to contract and bow my head down. I told her it felt "familiar." It felt like that's what I was SUPPOSED to be doing or the "right" thing to do. However, my intuition felt like it was doing a sad face and wanting to lift me up.
This is where Shyla helped me understand that we don't have to try to understand ANYTHING. What we need to do is get back in our bodies. The collective, such as schools, world "leaders," authority figures, doctors, media, etc. tell us that this is what we SHOULD be doing. The world is full of SHOULDS. So why we do we listen?
I believe we listen because we are a fear based society. We are always SO worried about what others think of us, what your boss thinks of you, what your boyfriend/girlfriend thinks of you, what your friends think of you, what your teachers think of you, what your coworker thinks of you blaaaahhhh blah blah.
Again, WHO GIVES A DAMN. Why should you give a damn about what OTHERS think, do or say about you? That's THEIR problem. You don't have to carry that burden, no matter who it comes from. You can remove yourself and choose to not accept it. This comes with work though. This comes with a lot of ACTUAL self-confidence and self-discovery. You see all these blogs and pages and websites talking about self-care, etc. but have you noticed all those blogs and pages look the same and post the same? It's all fluff. People are afraid of breaking free. Of shaking the Earth with the truth. Shyla used a good example today when she said people write books that sometimes make you feel baptized after reading them and you feel like a light bulb went off inside you. That's what we are here for! To activate this. To be brave and bold enough to DARE to say things that will shake the ground and grip people's throats to finally challenge them and make them wake up.
Truth triggers activation. It can trigger activation from all angles.
Shyla reminded me that some of the most influential people such as Malcom X and Martin Luther King Jr. were literally KILLED for speaking their truth. Yet, no one could take the truth away from them. Their truths still influence and inspire so many people today. Their truths have helped so many people.
Shyla inspired me to keep writing. To keep speaking my truth. People can say and do as they want. But the truth always belongs to ME no matter what happens and no matter who says what. She inspired me to do this after I deleted several posts which where the most heartfelt and intuition-based posts I wrote. You guys sent me so many wonderful messages of hope, inspiration and love when you read my posts. I wanted to come on here and apologize to those who needed those posts and for me deleting them out of fear of what other people said to me to try and silence me. I'm sorry to myself for betraying myself and bowing my head down to others trying to silence me after I finally felt safe enough to come out and speak on what it felt to be ME and what I lived through.
There will always be doubters, haters, malicious people wanting to silence you from speaking the truth. Life is full of these. There will always be people twisting in anger, fear and jealousy because YOU are brave enough to speak out on the truth, because you can live freely and no longer care who and what it costs you to be YOU. People will be triggered when they see you happy, thriving, being brave, owning YOU entirely and loving every single part of you, even your imperfections and mistakes. People will be angry when your truth triggers or influences their lives. When people send you hate messages or try to silence you from telling your truth, that says a lot about THEM, not you. Please don't leave yourself or your truth alone.
The question here is: are you willing to own your truth and live up to your truth at the cost of everything? I am. I am learning to trust me again. To come home to me. To live in my body. To experience it all.
That was the reason for starting this blog. You guys have no idea how much I want to help people. I want people to know they are not alone. That they're whole and perfect and worth love as they are. That someone's fucked up actions towards them or some fucked up situation DOES NOT define them. That they don't need to bow down to "authority figures" and believe everything you're told. YOU ARE FREE TO BELIEVE AND FEEL WHAT YOU WANT. IT IS YOUR BIRTH RIGHT. YOU ARE FREE TO SAY WHAT YOU WANT.
Finding your true-self is going to cost you. But the cost is so worth it. If you feel it in your gut, you feel it in your heart, it gives you chills, it gives you that drive, that desire and ignites that fire inside of you, go for it. Go for it and don't look back. Be ready to piss some people off. But that's okay. That's their problem, not yours. If you feel this is your purpose, this is your calling, please please please decide to go for it at the cost of WHOEVER and WHATEVER and don't look back. Keep going no matter what's thrown your way. It's your test of faith. Have faith and know that God and the Universe are always on your side. Know that you are being divinely guided once you act in your truth and do things out of the greater GOOD. Trust your intuition. Your gut is your little angel of wisdom nudging you towards what is yours to do. We all have a purpose on this Earth.
Know that all done in love, light and from the heart will be protected. Know that there is a greater pay off.
Shyla told me that this is only the beginning of my journey. And this made me so excited. She reminded me that the collective is so trained to live out of body and follow routines and rules that it eventually triggers something in them when they see others naturally happy and thriving in their truth.
I can so relate. I can see it because when you start to get to the other side of this and start coming back home to your body again, you realize how society are literally a bunch of sheep. We weren't put on this Earth to work a 9-5, go to university just because that's what's "expected" of us and pay bills and get in debt and follow the same routine until we die. No sir, no ma'm. We were here to find our purpose and make a difference on this Earth and make this world a better place. We were put here to understand that we are whole and perfect and so worthy of love JUST AS WE ARE. You don't have to work for it. You don't have to change for it. What's yours will naturally gravitate to you when you start living from your truth and intuition.
I also believe this goes for chronically ill people too. I believe a reason why people remain sick and suffering is because they haven't gone DEEP down inside and do inner work to change the patterns that obviously weren't serving them.
I feel I can attest to this. I was given a diagnosis that according to Western Medicine "has no cure," but coincidentally, as I did more and more inner work and literally continue to rebirth myself, my physiology changed too. I felt better. This is why you feel better after you cry. Because you are releasing emotions and breaking free and getting out the emotions you need to. Because you are no longer apologizing for being YOU and FEELING. You are allowing yourself to cry and embody your truth and emotions. You are allowing yourself to express them.
You are a human being for crying out loud. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO EXPRESS EMOTIONS. This goes for all you men too. I know you guys were taught to be tough and that it's not okay to cry. Let me tell you, that's bullshit. Fucking cry. Cry like a baby if you have to. Just CRY. Get it out of your system. This is what you were designed to do. You were designed to FEEL. And any girl that tells you otherwise or makes fun of you for crying...I mean, that's a red flag, sir. Your choice.
I personally always loved when men would cry. I always was like THANK GOD you can express emotions like a normal human lol. I would always find it weird when a guy wouldn't want to be vulnerable or express emotion. Not a turn on to act like a robot.
Okay so I know this post is all over the place lol but I just had to come on here while this was all fresh in my system.
I'm really blessed to have Shyla and work with her. I'm so thankful God's always got my back and putting people in my life who are helping me unfold in to ME. God works miracles, you gotta love Him.
I was able to look at myself in the mirror today and say, "damn girl do you remember who the fuck you are? The strong, loving, and pure hearted hustler you are? It's time to come back home."
I hope this post inspires you to do your inner work and follow your calling! Give yourself permission to exit and leave anything that doesn't FEEL right, even if nothing has gone wrong. Trust your gut, trust your instinct. Don't wait for shit to hit the fan to finally leave something that's not meant for you to continue walking in your truth. Whether it's a job, friendship, relationship, family member, etc. Re-create yourself. Listen to your gut!!
Please note that the information on this website is not intended to serve as medical advice. Always seek the advice of a licensed health care provider before making any treatment decisions. Information provided is for informational purposes only and represents the opinions formed by myself based on my experiences, the experience of those I've worked with, and research of sources. No responsibility is assumed for any errors or omissions in the content of this website.