Oh sweet girl - if I could hold you right now and tell you that you’re not crazy for wondering this and asking this, I would. I know it hurts. I know the hurt. I know none of it makes sense and you can’t imagine how someone can just move on JUST like that after EVERYTHING you guys went through. It’s not your fault. Nothing you did was your fault. Not even the out of character coping strategies you came up with to discover if he was cheating or not or if you were crazy for FEELING they were about to leave you.
I’m here to validate you. I’m here to tell you cheating is NEVER ok. I’m here to tell you dropping someone DEAD after having damaged you time and time again is NOT ok. I’m not going to tell you this is a blessing in disguise for you because that would be bypassing your pain. You are all in your right to be pissed, hurt, confused, angered, full of rage, etc. You deserve the time, energy and space to process this and literally detox from the fucked up shit another human put you through.
I know you’re trying to figure it out in your head, I know you’re wishing and wondering what could’ve happened if you would’ve done this or that to “fix” it. I know you saw their wounded inner child and wanted to help them - but you’re not a student needing to take on a project.
You’re a whole and wonderful and beautiful woman that has NOTHING wrong with her. You didn’t cause him to cheat on you or leave you. No, it wasn’t because you liked to argue a lot or because you weren’t “affectionate” enough. If they felt their needs weren’t being met, they should’ve communicated it, gone to therapy or have left in a HUMANE way a long time ago. Not in a cowardly way. Everyone has childhood wounds, but eventually, you learn when abusing someone else is NEVER ok anymore. You come to your senses and know what you’re doing is wrong. Someone who has been hurt doesn’t want to continuously hurt another human being over and over again.
Even though it hurts - just know, I hear you. I see you. I feel your pain. I know because I am going through it. And I know that karma’s a bitch. But it’s not your job to play karma either. Let them be.
The best thing you can do for you is heal. Heal that beautiful heart of you that has the ability to love again even after it's been broken and shattered to pieces. Only cowards shy away from loving a human being in an honest and pure way. I hope you never come across shit people in your life ever again. And I hope now, you know what to do with them.
You're beautiful and worthy and so loved just as you are, remember that.
With tender care,
Credit to this amazing blog post: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/permission-to-thrive/2020/02/the-7-answers-i-desperately-needed-after-the-narcissistic-discard/